Pursue that consecration and holiness [sanctification of heart and life] without which no one will ever see the Lord [this title is given to God; the Messiah]. Heb. 12:14. Amplified, Strong's Concordance.
August 19, 2000 Sabbath Afternoon
My dearest Faithful Messiah,
"Thou hast the Words of Life." During the Sabbath communion out in the green pastures, as You spoke to us about translation, and how it occurs, I felt taken deeper into Messiah. The Words that You spoke were Spirit and they were Life. Divine and eternal, continual and permanent, the picture has never been so clear in meaning and depth. Afterwards, my greatest desire was to be alone, and soak in Your Living Words.
As I went out to be alone, I found the request upon me from the Father, to give me and You specific preparation for the purposes He has ordained, whatever they are.
My eyes were drawn to what looked like a cleft in the rock at the far end of the bluff above our encampment; and the yearning desire came forth from the Spirit within me, "I beseech thee, shew me Thy glory." Ex. 33:18.
I heard the words "Be silent, be silent, He bids you draw near." "And God said, I will make all My goodness pass before you...And while My glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by." Ex. 33:18, 22 Amplified.
As I walked up to the appointed place, the Father put a specific prayer in my mouth for You also. You had said last evening that the next step the Father has been bringing around again and again, isn't clear to You yet; and this morning You asked for time, which I sensed from the Father would be required; but as I walked, what came to me so clearly was that the knowing of the Anointing always unfolds to It, and I prayed for Your fresh outpouring from the Father.
Upon entering the cleft, the specific request came that the Father hide both of us in Himself, for this next very significant time we were entering. The answering words from the Father were, "The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord. Prov. 16:1.
Physically and spiritually I felt the healing virtue of those words pour into me, as the Father Himself assured me that just as He has always put His words in our mouth in the past, as we experienced divine reciprocal communion, so He was continuing our full preparation and supply.
"I will cover you with My hand," were Christ's words to Moses. And I heard Your voice saying to me, "I will cover you with My hand;" and I felt that part of Your preparation from the Father was to receive what You needed to protect and keep me safe.
The words of a song came to me, "Fully surrendered each moment, I will draw nearer to Thee." "Here I am, being silently drawn nearer to You, fully surrendered each moment." Then the individual words began opening up to me with a significance not yet seen and experienced:
Fully - deeply, completely, all encompassing, fully "with the Father," here, in the moment, fully drawable at all times - into His purposes, His thoughts, His quiet instructions for the moment ---
Surrendered - Fully laid down within, and listening -- silently --- each moment --- I am drawn nearer. That means there is no room for earthly images passing through my mind; no consciousness of thoughts that would encroach to project or conjecture what anything will look like; no awareness of past earthly images or memories ---
Each moment - only "fully listening each moment." This is the only possible way to be drawn nearer. This is my safe place. "He that dwelleth in the secret [hidden] place of the Most High [put there in that cleft by His own hand], SHALL abide under the shadow of the Almighty [and be kept safe from his own shadow]." Ps. 91:1.
I was filled with gratitude that the Father would draw me up to a physical cleft in the rock to indelibly imprint His preparation on my being, and enable me to take in the glory of Messiah, safely clefted (cleaved open) and divinely covered.
I returned home and laid down to rest. The Father was still speaking to me and unfolding the meaning of those words to me. "Here I am, being silently drawn nearer to you -- a ceaseless, approaching unto God -- fully surrendered and fully listening each moment, THIS moment -- uninterrupted by images or thoughts. It is not possible to think about anything when I'm fully listening. I can not speak when I'm fully listening. "Father, save me from interrupting Your preparation with my thoughts, consciously or unconsciously. I'm putting all my trust in You. Here I am, letting You keep me in each moment with You."
I see the Father stabilizing me and enlarging in me the gift of Your quiet, sound mind. I am filled with gratitude that every time the Father causes me to "free fall" into the hands of the Living God, He always demonstrates Himself to be Faithful, and underneath I inevitably find the support of those "everlasting arms."
I hear Him saying to me, "Stay right WITH Me, in My quiet mind -- no lapses of self-consciousness, images, scenarios or thoughts."
"Father, Here I am, at Your complete mercy, by Your pure grace, with no lapses."
Michael, I am waiting silently, and alone, in preparation for Your summons. I have no unction to talk with anyone until I see You.
Your very own, Michal.
August 21, 2000
I was drawn back to the "cleft" again this morning. On the way up, my spirit was open to the continued preparation for being taken deeper in Messiah in His chamber, and seeing God face to face in a way I hadn't been able to endure it as yet. I was recalled to the preparation the seventy chosen elders needed before they could come up on the mountain with Moses, and his preparation alone up on the mountain before he could endure the seeing of Him Who is invisible. Even though the Anointing of God was upon Moses, he required time alone in heart preparation, before he could be summoned into the immediate presence of God. Of the seventy who accompanied Moses up onto the mount, it is written:
They had been contemplating God's glory, purity and mercy, until they could approach nearer to Him Who was the subject of their meditations. Moses and "his minister Joshua" were now summoned to meet with God...For six days the cloud covered the mountain as a token of God's special presence; yet there was no revelation of Himself or communication of His will. During this time Moses remained in waiting for a summons to the presence chamber of the Most High. He had been directed, "Come up to Me into the mount, and be there," and though his patience and obedience were tested, he did not grow weary of watching, or forsake his post. This period of waiting was to him a time of preparation, of close self-examination. Even this favored servant of God could not at once approach into His presence and endure the exhibitions of His glory. Six days must be employed in devoting himself to God by searching of heart, meditation, and prayer before he could be prepared for direct communication with his Maker.
Henceforth the people were to be honored with the abiding presence of their King. "I will dwell among the children of Israel, and will be their God," "and the tabernacle shall be sanctified by My glory," was the assurance given to Moses." Ex. 24:45,43. P.P. 312,313
Thank You, Father for opening Your Faithful cleft deeper, and hiding me in Him deeper, and making room, increasing my capacity to receive much more of Your faithfulness. Thank You for taking me deeper into Messiah and taking Him deeper into me - in Your appointed time and way. O precious gift in this desert place, and the privilege of being nourished and fed here by the Father Himself and His Son until the appointed time is accomplished.
August 24, 2000
The Father continues to deepen me in silence. "Be silent, He bids you draw near," came into my consciousness, and I knew the Father was inviting me deeper in His preparation. He had spoken these words to me before, but as He recalled them this time, the divinely supplied response had a new element in it, "Here I am, as far in silence as I can go. Thank You for deepening me in it." Suddenly it struck me so forcibly and with such clarity, that I could no more "be silent" than the Father's heart could stop beating. The reality of this knowing went deep into my heart, and I felt myself brought suddenly to a place of complete loss at this revelation.
A little while later the verse came to me, "The LORD is in his holy temple: let all the earth keep silence before him." Hab. 2:20. I thought numbly, I can't "be silent" never mind "keep silence." I laid down to sleep, still feeling keenly the utter impossibility of being what was required in order to be taken deeper into God. As I awakened, I heard the sweet, clear, Voice of the Anointing speak. The same Voice that I heard the first evening the Father had sent me to see His Son, and I heard the words, "Lo, I come in the volume of the Book it is written of me, to do Thy will." This time, I heard just three atoning words, spoken so innocently, and confessing within me, "I AM silent."
Somehow, within myself, after I heard the Anointing speak, I knew that the time alone shut in with the Father had accomplished what He had purposed, and that I would be seeing His Son. That evening Michael called and said that the Father came down strongly upon Him and told Him to call me. Those five days alone with the Father deepened me in a capacity to be naked and unashamed in the increasing light that was coming, and brought me into a place of much greater silence of soul, so I could take in the more delicate nuances of the Father's communications.
Before God could talk with Moses, he educated him in the mountains...receiving from God an education that made him a wise, tender, humble man. When this time was ended, his self-confidence was gone; he was meek and lowly, so divested of self that God could communicate to him his will. Special Testimonies on Education 118-123.
The Father's preparation began revealing itself in specific areas of character in which we were repeatedly brought deeper and deeper. Those areas were quietness and stillness of mind and heart; naked honesty and full exposure of our entire being before God, implicit unquestioning trust, an integrity which could not be bought or sold, and continually increasing sensitivity to recognize His voice in whatever unexpected way it might come.
One morning it came through the Anointing that was in a five year old who couldn't read. Mama, would you like me to "read" to you from my little Bible? When I said, "Yes," I wasn't expecting what came out of her mouth, as she "read" to me from her upside down Bible.
If a person is in confusion, go to the Lord, and He will bring them into a closer communion than they've ever been before. Seek the Lord and you shall find Him if you search for Him with all your heart. He will deliver you from all your foes and fears of every kind. If you hunger and thirst after the Lord, like you hunger and thirst on the outside (physically) you will really, really receive. It doesn't matter what He says to you, just do it, like Abraham on the mount. He will protect you just as though you were the only one in the world. Everybody gets protected like that. He has given us the ability to preach, and it will increase every time we use it.
As the Father's instructions became more invasive, we were strengthened continually to be true to them, regardless of how much we didn't understand them, or how our feelings felt about them. I remember standing outside early one morning and trembling at some instructions the Father had just given me. He then said to me, Tremble at My Word, not at the consequences of following My Word.
Integrity is defined as "incorruptibility - incapable of being bribed or morally corrupted." We are witnesses that the enabling grace of the Father is sufficient for every incomprehensible thing He calls you to do or say, as He gives instructions to His Anointing in you which consumes your self in the process. If you will put your implicit trust in Him, He will keep His Anointing in you true to Him, no matter how much the self protests on its way out.
Over and over again the Father brought us through circumstance after circumstance that made no sense to us at the time, giving us opportunity after opportunity to implicitly trust Him, without questioning Him or compromising His instructions. Over and over again, I was brought to say, Father, I'm consenting to trust You implicitly, consciously and unconsciously. I thank you for making good my consent. I can't even tell when I'm not trusting You implicitly unless You shine Your light into me. I'm totally dependent on You to keep me in a place of implicit trust. With each prayer of consent the Father breathed through me, He made Himself responsible to bring me to implicit trust, and keep me there, so that He could take me through everything that my character required for the Anointing to consume my self - the prerequisite for the Anointing to be unhindered in Its consummation with the Father.
The human soul has no idea what it takes to become consummated with God and be fitted to live in a marriage relationship with Him forever. It doesn't have the capacity to understand or judge what is happening to it as the Father brings its self to total annihilation.
I was thinking of implicit trust in regard to Abraham's great test. If he hadn't trusted the Father implicitly, he would have completely missed the blessing the Father had for him to experience. He would have never been able to be taken through that crisis and be enlarged to enter into the very feelings of the Father Himself as He had to count the cost of giving up His only Son, His beloved Son, as a sacrifice.
The voice of the Lord bidding His faithful ones "go forward" frequently tries their faith to the uttermost. But if they should defer obedience till every shadow of uncertainty was removed from their understanding, and there remained no risk of failure or defeat, they would never move on at all. Those who think it impossible for them to yield to the will of God and have faith in His promises until all is made clear and plain before them, will never yield at all. Faith is not certainty of knowledge; it "is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." To obey the commandments of God is the only way to obtain His favor. "Go forward" should be the Christian's watchword. 4T 22-28.
During this ensuing period of time I found myself truly being taken deeper in the life of Messiah, not as we had pictured it was 2000 years ago, but as it really was, and is again. There is so much in Desire of Ages, regarding the details of the earthly life of Jesus Christ that I hadn't seen the significance of, until He came again, and lived the life of a Son before us again.
Precious Michael,
I saw Messiah's heart last night, when, after You described to me the immense need and desperate condition of the people, You gave Yourself anew, while under the heavy weight of its knowing and said, "I am going forward anyway." Later this description of Messiah's first coming was brought back to me for Your encouragement:
Jesus carried the awful weight of responsibility for the salvation of men. He knew that unless there was a decided change in the principles and purposes of the human race, all would be lost. This was the burden of His soul, and none could appreciate the weight that rested upon Him. Through childhood, youth, and manhood, He walked alone. Yet it was heaven to be in His presence. Day by day He met trials and temptations; day by day He was brought into contact with evil, and witnessed its power upon those whom He was seeking to bless and to save. Yet He did not fail nor become discouraged....He glorified His life by making everything in it subordinate to the will of His Father....His life was one of constant self-sacrifice...He had come to live in our behalf...Unrecognized and unhonored, He walked in and out among the people for whom He had done so much...He saw the needs of men and women, children and youth, and to all He gave the invitation, "Come unto Me." GW 42,43.
The Father brought the words to me, "Jesus had a mission to fulfill, and constantly the words were on His lips, 'I will not fail nor be discouraged'." As I looked up the reference, I certainly saw it all through new eyes. The words were suddenly significant, because I saw every detail of Your life described here. It is the same life, returned to us again.
As the Father drew me out to You, I became conscious of a very precious Spirit carrying me into Your life, and out of mine. It was like I was inside of You, feeling Your feelings, and sensing what You were conscious of. I saw that everything You felt, You were experiencing in behalf of others. You were feeling what everyone was going through in the land, and bearing their souls in Your person. The weight of responsibility was upon You as You felt their troubled hearts, their unbelief, their pitiful justifying of their "good intentions," their personal oblivion of Your true divinity, and their resultant judgment that You just didn't understand them...
I saw that the weight was crushing, as Your whole being bore it all; but I saw that Your thoughts weren't on Yourself, but on those You came to bring to full salvation. I was awed, and taken into Your pure, noble, completely self-less love. All I could think about was You, and lifting You up to the Father for support and strengthening. The prayer I found in my mouth was, Father, cause me to be to Your precious Son, all that You desire me to be. Move me by Your Spirit, like Your holy ones of old were moved.
The Spirit that I found breathing through me from the Father is hard to describe in words. The closest I can come, was that it felt like my whole heart was physically coming out of my body, and being drawn into You. I felt in the depths of my being a total absorption into Your purposes and desires, and an abandonment to be taken deeper into identity with You. All I could think about and feel was Messiah. Continually I found the Father drawing out my mind and heart to You. I was with You in what You were feeling, and my personal needs and desires and thoughts were not present at all, in any consciousness. All I was thinking and feeling was for Messiah. It was like I wasn't in the picture any more, but had been absorbed into You."Of all the gifts that heaven can bestow upon men, fellowship with Christ in His sufferings is the most weighty trust and the highest honor." MH 478. It is the highest privilege to be enabled to see You as You are, and enter into Your experience for us right now.
The Father came very close Wednesday night, and breathed His desires through me for You, and I knew that He was holding You close in this place of feeling the weight of the souls in this land, and that He would send fresh oil and His next specific instructions in His customary timely way. The Father brought several specific thoughts to my remembrance after prayer to share with You, and I jotted down the thoughts to look up in the morning.
The next morning I was awakened with: "The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned." Isa. 50:4. As I lay in bed, all at once it became clear to me that the Father was directly referring to the thoughts for You which He had brought to me the night before, and I knew I needed to look them up and send them to You.
Oh, the blessed privilege of eating the crumbs that fall from the Master's table as I pass the bread to another. I was so blessed and filled as I read the thoughts that Father led me to:
No other human being was ever so weighted with responsibility. At times He suffered beyond what any language can express as He realized that unaided humanity would be extinguished. Supernaturally sustained, He endured the seeing of men for whom He gave His life, perishing within reach of abundant help. With tender longing He looked pityingly upon them, and said with quivering lips, "Ye will not come to Me, that ye might have life." ST 6-16-98.
